Thursday, February 23, 2006

A eulogy. Or is that "an eulogy"? Either way.

Dearly beloved; we are gathered here today to get through this thing called---wait. Wait. That's a Prince song. Let's start over.

Dearly beloved; we are gathered here today to bid a fond farewell to your friend and mine: the birdvan. It was a brave van, a van that defied the odds, that cost 800 dollars and made it up and down the West Coast more times than it should have. It died, like so many vans, by the cruel, overworking it's masters gave it. That and a bum radiator. And transmission. And a broken radio. And that weird sound that the seat made everytime you went over a speed bump too fast. At any rate, birdvan, we'll miss you. I hope the man we gave you to will treat you nice, or, at least gut you proper and put your five working parts into finer automobiles, such as a Gremlin or a Rabbit. Rest in peace, buddy.

3 comments:

red rose chain said...

It looks like a lovely van : )

x

birdmonster said...

It is...was...*sob*

Donations can be made to charitable organazations like the World Van Relief Project and Citizens Against the Abuse of Underpriced Vans.

Peter said...

...the worst was when i was leaving the garage and the man with greasey hands handed me 400 dollars in crumpled cash and said "thanks"...it was all over so quick...there wasn't even a proper goodbye...it was sorta like when the state took custody of dakota fanning from sean penn in that movie where he is retarded...yeah, just like that........i cried like a baby...