Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Ah, to be a temp. Let's examine the pros, the cons, the sad reality that is this week

I'd written a largely unfunny screed about the value of temping, about how I need more sleep, and about the fact that if you watched every episode of COPS back-to-back-to-back-to-back, you'd be in front of the TV for fourteen and a half days, which sounds about as fun as shaving with a cheese grater, mind you, but that's not the point. The point is that I've deleted all that out of shame and out of respect for the three to five minutes you spend here now and again. You'd thank me if you'd read it. I promise.

Basically, here's the score: I've depleted my savings to the point that most of the hobos on Market Street are eating better than I am and, well, I've re-entered the world of the professional temporary employee. It's a life in which you say "sure, I need money, I just don't want a job. I know! I'll pretend that I don't have an actual job by instead working a slew of short and vaguely demoralizing ones. Added bonus: no health or dental care. Let me know if you find the tooth that just fell out my head." It's a life in which any semblance of vague competence is considered lauditory. It's a life...screw it. Let's do it like this:

PRO: Temping gives you money.

CON: So does robbing old ladies in broad daylight. Plus, the hours are better.

PRO: Temping allows you to meet new and exciting people.

CON: None of them respect or will remember you. It's like being one of those guys who dries people's hands in fancy restaurants. Sure they're just doing their job, but really: go away. You're weirding me out.

PRO: Temping gets you up early.

CON: Getting up early is for farmers, stock brokers, and other squemish losers.

PRO: Temping gets you out of the house.

CON: There's nothing wrong with living in a robe, drinking coffee from the pot, and getting strangely involved in General Hospital. I think.

PRO: Temping allows you to learn new skills.

CON: In the past three days, I've put stickers on Tylenol packages, nametags in those little nametag plastic thingies, folded folders, coallated, and passed things out said folders to European doctors who treated me like one of those aforementioned bathroom hand-drying-guys. In other words, I got paid $14 an hour to do what kids in China get paid 5 cents a day to do. Actually, that might be a PRO. A depressing one, but still.

You know what? Jury's out. I keep coming back to the original point: temping gets you money and money can be exchanged for goods and services and goods and services allow me eat and sleep and have some semblance of a livlihood. So, really: not all bad. That doesn't mean that robbing old ladies is out of the question. I'm just waiting for a bling one with a Gucci clutch. She's gotta be around here somewhere.

Oh yeah: Independent tomorrow. And no job. We're all winners now.


Katie L. Thompson said...

I need a job. The kind with insurance, though. :(

Anonymous said...

you could always panhandle. you could make a sign that incorporates a number of internet memes, like "Banjos killed my family, need money to hire Chuck Norris" or something.

also, what IS up with those towel guys? especially the aftershave thing. i mean, i always tip them and stuff, but WHY would i want to rub a stranger's Brut on me??

Sabrina said...

Where do you eat to have some guy dry your hands in a bathroom? This is creepy!

I'm glad to hear you're employeed. $ is a necessary evil.

Please take care of your teeth! Brush in the morning, before you go to bed and floss once a day so you won't get gum desease

oh and it's the little old ladies that don't have the Gucci wallet that probably have the most $. cuz they didn't spend all their money on the wallet..(note to self)

Indpendent tonight :)

elvette said...

I'm a big fan of medical experiments for cash. Depending on what you're willing to let them do to you, you can make good money.

But the real question is, what IS happening on General Hospital?

uzi said...

I *hate* bathroom attendants. Well, not the people that do it... I feel bad for them, but I hate the concept of it.

Have an awesome show! Sadly, I have other plans tonight... made even more sad that The Independent is an awesome place for photos. Next time!

Kt said...

Sadly I am still a temp with no health insurance or dental although I am working for a place with awesome food and perks, I am still technically a "Contractor" also known a glorified temp. It is kinda like living in the caste system, my badge is even a diff color to distinguish me from actual employees...

Sabrina said...

Great show on Thursday. I couldn't say goodbye since my friends needed to get going. You guys all look great and I loved the new songs. My girls were happy to see the blurry pics I was able to take. one too many Stella's, I guess! Until next show, take care, get some rest and continue to create.

Justin, sorry for stepping on your foot.

davidp said...

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?


Okay, that was pretty mean, sorry. Really though, I don't think I can express how much appreciation I have for people who make a huge monetary sacrifice, as well as putting themselves at risk by not having health insurance and whatnot, so that they can make music. If no one made the sacrifice, there would be no music and the planet would be a cold and sterile place.

emmy said...

It's May and we miss your musings. Please write!

Sabrina said...

haha... that is the girlfriend/homeless.

Yes, I miss the blogs.JT please write.....

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