Friday, February 16, 2007

The best "away message" money can't buy

The cabin to which we're retreating (and yes, I do have disdain for dangling prepositions) is out in the boonies, which, if you're curious, is located a few hundred miles outside of Los Angeles. It's filled with bric a brac, an out of tune upright piano, and a whole gang of morose, cotton-mouthed cacti. It's also fairly removed from civilization, which, as I mentioned yesterday, will probably cause David to do his best Jack Torrance impression until we elude him in the hedge maze.

This also means this post will be up here for quite some time. In fact, think of this post as a loaf of bread. It's fresh today, which is the 16th, but by the 27th, odds are, it'll have a mold beard and taste vaguely of cranberries, unless of course it's Wonderbread, which means it will outlive us all. This would also mean you could squish this post into a ball and throw it at the girl you liked while she was drinking her Capri Sun, but I think this analogy has gone on for far too long as it is. Of course, now I really want a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.

Where was I? Yes. I remember. Since we'll be away and, since you're here already, this leads me to believe you probably don't want to be doing whatever it is you're doing at the computer. If you're like me, it's work. If you're like me several years ago, it's homework. I'm just happy we're one of your stops on (all together now) the never-ending voyage against Taylorism.

Now, I'm sure you have your other spots. Maybe you're a sports fiend who spends all day of ESPN.com, debating the valor of Barry Bonds (nil) or discussing John Amaechi, the NBA center who just came out of the closet, perhaps hoping that no one would remember he was on the Utah Jazz and that he stunk. Maybe you're a news junkie or one of those eBay window shoppers ("I can buy a teenager's soul for $8, sure, but what about shipping?") or a music blog reader, bent on hearing about some band from Austin with a legless frontman and a six-woman sousaphone section before that snob at your local record store does. Point is: you've got your spots, I've got mine. So, in the interest of the commonwealth, I thought we could all list a few possible destinations, hoping this snowballs into a lack of productivity akin to Superbowl Sunday, Christmas, and the May '68 French general strike all rolled into one giant ball of slothful idleness. Either that or you can just laugh a few times while you're eating your ham and swiss at your desk.

- Ah, the Straight Dope. Absolutely my favorite thing on the internet. Important issues like "Does the taller presidential cantidate always win?", "How much is all the tea in China really worth?", and a personal favorite: "What exactly is the pompatus of love?" are answered daily, with vim and valor and a spoonfull of avuncular sarcasm.

- Guess what time it is? It's obligatory YouTube time! I sent this clip to a fellow layabout a few weeks ago and he pronounced it the funniest thing since sliced bread, which, by the way: hilarious. It's certainly the funniest thing since Fabio was clobbered by that goose. I still laugh at that. Anyway, if you're at work, make sure your headphones are on. If you're at home, make sure your children are deaf. While you're there, we've posted a video of our hyperactively paced cover of Billy Joel's Movin' Out, also known as Anthony's Song, also known as one of the great pop songs written by a habitual drunk driver. Performance circa drunken New Years.

- I find this hilarious.

- Found Magazine is, if you're unaware, a magazine (duh) dedicated to scraps of paper, snapshots, lists, binders, and all manner of seemingly useless trash that, when you really look at them, are incredibly funny, poignant, or just plain weird. They update it daily and the collections are highly recommended. It's bastard cousins are Mortified, a site and book dedicated to people's vicariously embarrassing diaries, short stories, prom photos, and so on, and Post Secret, a mailbox where folks anonymously send alternatively hilarious and depressing secrets to be posted for all the world to see, an act I find positively weird and borderline pathological, yet, I go there every week.

- As someone without cable, you may regard me as somewhat of a caveman. And yes, before you ask, we do have rabit ears and they get Simpsons re-runs quite well. Also: Teen Jeopardy! I've felt smart all week. Then there's this: a list of places to watch TV for free online. Did you know you were working on a television? Me neither. I hope Myth Busters is on there somewhere.

That seems like a good jumping-off point, methinks. There's more where that came from, of course, and, in fact, more over there to the right. We'll be gone all next week, until roughly the end of February, to return rested, with new songs, completely out of the news, information, and current events loop. Don't go annexing Costa Rica on us or anything. So, until then, au revoir.

5 comments:

SOL's view said...

Unfortunately I can't avoid work as much as I would like. I only have time for BM, hotmail and abc news. However, I now have a week of new places to explore. Thanks!

Foo said...

...a legless frontman and a six-woman sousaphone section...

Okay, I Googled my ass off and hit up YouTube for this, but I got bupkis. The music blog for such things must be really top secret. Elitest not-sharer, you.

I hadn't seen Found before, but Post Secret is a guilty pleasure of mine. I enjoy the pscyho poetry graphic design aesthetic of many of the submissions.

Hehehe. Huhuh. I said "submission". Hehe.

jeffro said...

fuck it! i'm buyin' me a Winnebago!

Sabrina said...

Winnebago Man. That was so funny! The girls and I were in tears here at work. Yes make sure to use your earphones!
Thanks for the heads up!

I love,love, love the cover of 500 miles. You guys did such an awesome job. I hope to hear this at the Independent. I've pumped you guys up so much here at work I have a few girls that will be coming with.

sexy said...

情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,按摩棒,跳蛋,充氣娃娃,情境坊歡愉用品,情趣用品,情人節禮物,情惑用品性易購

免費A片,AV女優,美女視訊,情色交友,免費AV,色情網站,辣妹視訊,美女交友,色情影片,成人影片,成人網站,A片,H漫,18成人,成人圖片,成人漫畫,情色網,日本A片,免費A片下載,性愛

A片,色情,成人,做愛,情色文學,A片下載,色情遊戲,色情影片,色情聊天室,情色電影,免費視訊,免費視訊聊天,免費視訊聊天室,一葉情貼圖片區,情色,情色視訊,免費成人影片,視訊交友,視訊聊天,視訊聊天室,言情小說,愛情小說,AIO,AV片,A漫,av dvd,聊天室,自拍,情色論壇,視訊美女,AV成人網,色情A片,SEX

情趣用品,A片,免費A片,AV女優,美女視訊,情色交友,色情網站,免費AV,辣妹視訊,美女交友,色情影片,成人網站,H漫,18成人,成人圖片,成人漫畫,成人影片,情色網


情趣用品,A片,免費A片,日本A片,A片下載,線上A片,成人電影,嘟嘟成人網,成人,成人貼圖,成人交友,成人圖片,18成人,成人小說,成人圖片區,微風成人區,成人文章,成人影城,情色,情色貼圖,色情聊天室,情色視訊,情色文學,色情小說,情色小說,臺灣情色網,色情,情色電影,色情遊戲,嘟嘟情人色網,麗的色遊戲,情色論壇,色情網站,一葉情貼圖片區,做愛,性愛,美女視訊,辣妹視訊,視訊聊天室,視訊交友網,免費視訊聊天,美女交友,做愛影片

av,情趣用品,a片,成人電影,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,成人貼圖,成人交友,成人圖片,18成人,成人小說,成人圖片區,成人文章,成人影城,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情聊天室,情色視訊,情色文學,色情小說,情色小說,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,情色電影,aio,av女優,AV,免費A片,日本a片,美女視訊,辣妹視訊,聊天室,美女交友,成人光碟

情趣用品.A片,情色,情色貼圖,色情聊天室,情色視訊,情色文學,色情小說,情色小說,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,情色電影,色情遊戲,色情網站,聊天室,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,美女視訊,辣妹視訊,視訊聊天室,視訊交友網,免費視訊聊天,免費A片,日本a片,a片下載,線上a片,av女優,av,成人電影,成人,成人貼圖,成人交友,成人圖片,18成人,成人小說,成人圖片區,成人文章,成人影城,成人網站,自拍,尋夢園聊天室