Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Good. I was getting pretty sick of work, to tell you the truth

We've been home since early November, unless you count a quick trip to Los Angeles or that long Christmas weekend or that whole Turkey Day thing or that weekend at Nigel's in Lower Upper Middle Hillstonburgshire, which is to say: we haven't really been home all that long. But I miss the van. I miss the mid-afternoon pause at In-N-Out. I miss that feeling at a hotel when you pull back the comforter and you aren't quite sure if there's a gecko under the covers. I miss being completely destitute.

Well then, I'm in luck. Starting Friday, we're off on a California-only tour which takes us from San Jose to San Diego, Los Angeles, Fullerton, Long Beach, Bakersfield, Santa Rosa, Oakland, Sacramento, and, of course, home in San Francisco at the very end. Looking here at my handy-dandy schedule, I notice we've got a ton of days off, conveniently in places where we grew up, have friends, or know a really posh abandoned cottage where the owners paid up for a decades worth of premium cable before dying in the bathtub. Which is nice, of course, because those places are all free and at only one do you have to avoid the bathroom.

In other words, we'll be touring leisurely enough to not even need an oil change or grow one of those beards you think you're enjoying until you see pictures of it three months later and you suddenly realize you looked like some kind of lumberjack sociopath and you're wondering why nobody shaved you while you'd passed out drunk one night like the good Samaritan you hoped they were. I've posted the dates down and to the right for posterity's sake, down under all the links you've hopefully perused time and time again. Hope to see you there. I'll be wearing my state flag t-shirt, some jams, and screaming "Eureka" every thirty seconds. We can bond.

13 comments:

Katie L. Thompson said...

Oh, man! But beards are totally in right now. Seriously!

But yeah, maybe it's just a fad. I would say it's a cold weather thing but it's been really warm around here lately.

I envy you for getting to travel like you do.

birdmonster said...

Katie: Yes. Beards are great. I loves them. I just should probably not have had one. I looked rather silly.

SOL's view said...

Bond. Bonding is good.....

Oh no! I promised myself I wouldn't! But I've done it! I've read your blog, and now I will have nothing to do at work.....

birdmonster said...

Sol. I'm sorry. I hate when I do that. If you're really bored, try this on for size:

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.c
om/issues/10_06/10_06_andre_giant.html

My friend send it to me last week and it wasted a full 10 or 20 minutes. Plus, hey: Andre the Giant. Doesn't get much better than that.

SOL's view said...

Excellent. Looking forward to it. I guess if I were really bored, I could surf youtube, but one of my cellmates already does that, and points out the bits he thinks interesting. No point me doing it as well. But that's my day - birdmonster, hotmail, myspace.

Work? Only an afterthought......

Gasoline Hobo said...

jams?!? i thought i was the only one who remembered those things. i assume you're talking about the highly colorful male version of clamdiggers or whatever you call 'em. kind of like "the bro", but for the legs, sort of thing.

p.s.: i totally know someone who can hook you up with some hammer pants.

i'm just sayin'.

birdmonster said...

SOL: Sometimes I wonder what people did at the office before the internet. Abbacus races? Paper clip sword fights? At any rate: they had it rough.

Hobo: Oh, yeah. I'm talking about those Jams. I had a sweet black & pink pair that rode down on my shins. Tuck in an OP T-shirt & sport a bowl cut & those big rimless glasses still worn by 40 something X-Men fanatics and you've got me circa 1990.

Now: Gimme them pants.

SOL's view said...

Good heavens! You were right. Has kept me busy for a while, and great reading too. Ta.

PS referring to a previous post, what is 'pulled pork' and what the heck item of supposed apparel is 'jams'???

Sabrina said...

I'm finally done with all of my work and now have the pleasure of reading your blog.

We shouldn't speak of before the internet, it just wasn't fun. It was isolation.
Now we can exchange recipes and clothing with a few pecks of a keyboard to people all around the world.

*Pulled pork is slow cooked pork butt or roast usually BBQ'd, or Roasted. It falls apart when it's done cooking so they call it pulled pork. It's delicious, but can cause overeating, which results in a sick, not so good feeling in your gut.

I'm on the last 2 days of the cleanse and a pulled pork sandwich sounds amazing to me right now. BBQ sauce, soft but crispy bun.....

SOL's view said...

Hot damn that sounds good!

Sam said...

what is this "before the internet" that you speak of?

I would actually get "work" done if it weren't for the internet. Can you imagine?

elvette said...

It wasn't before the internet, but at one job I had one of those desks with the pull-out writing board. I kept the day's crossword taped to the board so I could work on the crossword, and then slide it back in when the boss came by.

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