Thursday, January 18, 2007

A few non-related items of interest. We hope.

- Look.You should really get your eyes checked. I did yesterday and trust me: the world is a gorgeous place. I'm in a constant state of bewildered joy. I'm making discoveries at a rapid pace. My neighbor is far less wobbly than she was on Tuesday. Also: she's black. Surprises are everywhere.

- When loaning someone your van, it's advisable that you remember you did so. Otherwise, well, otherwise you leave your house on the way to work, notice the van is gone, proceed to shriek like a gymnophobe at a porn convention, spend your next hour frantically trying to locate said automobile, only to have it returned, full of gas, by the very same person you loaned it to. Just a tip. Not like it happened to me this morning or anything.

- Attention Braniacs: As a public service, I would like to announce that you can take the Jeopardy test, online, from January 23rd to the 25th. I have dillusions of going on Jeopardy one day, rubbing Trebeck's head like a good-luck Buddha, then finishing in the red. I will of course be taking the test and failing it with flying colors. Remember, when in doubt, the answer is "Charlamagne."

- A reminder: we're touring starting tomorrow. All manner of California towns will be descended upon. That includes you, Burbank. Dates are available in many, internet flavored locales such as our website, on our myspace, and down there on the right. I've also burned them into my arm like some kind of forgetful frat boy. If you see me in short sleeves, well, that works too.

- I woke up this morning with a Gilbert & Sullivan song in my head for the second time in as many weeks. Needless to say: a disturbing development. In related news, I'm happy I don't remember my dreams from last night. In related news, I am the very model of a modern major general, I've information vegetable animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical, from Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.

9 comments:

RD said...

I dunno, dude. You seem really intelligent. I think you could kick some ass at Jeopardy.

Are those the real words to that song? Sadly, I only know the Animaniacs version. Sadly, I know it well.

birdmonster said...

My lack of historical, geographical, and opera-related knowhow would surely sink me. Also, it's unlikely that "Follies of Mike Tyson" will be a category, which is what I wrote my doctorate on.

SOL's view said...

Noooo! Damn you Birdmonster!!

PS laughed hysterically at the van ep. Thank goodness I sit by myself....

Jim Tenuto said...

A new word..."dillusions"...does this mean that you suffer from seeing random pickles?

Also, when in doubt the answer is really a question, "Who is Charlemagne?"

birdmonster said...

Sol: Sorry about that. Hope it's out of your head now. Just don't think about Fiddler on the Roof. For the love of all things holy.

DD: As usual, you're right on both counts. That's why I should have wrote "clue" and "response" instead. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm being attacked by cucumbers.

SOL's view said...

No, no Fiddler. The General's back and there's no room.

birdmonster said...

...When I was a rich man...

Unknown said...

Give him an extra hard Buddha rub for me.

SOL's view said...

Good try. Someone here has just bombarded me with Franky and friends telling me to Relax. What is this, a conspiracy?