Today, we learn about headaches, a change of (digital) scenery, and a rather lengthy trek through the greater United States

The problem with that whole "eat, drink, and be merry" thing is the next day. You can't finish your croissant, you need fifteen gallons of water, and merriment so improbable that it's hilarious, except, well, you can't laugh because your brain hurts.

It was all for a good cause, though. Birthdays should be celebrated with a reckless, dish-breaking, diet-be-damned abandon. Then, when people ask her the next day, "hey, do you feel a year older?" the birthday girl can truthfully say "yes." And I think that's important. You've got to earn it.

I've got some totally self-referential news today. Perturbed by the copious amounts of assinine spam comments, I'm turning on the word verification dealy. Comments from real human beings will now require reading wavy letters. It's depressing, really. I'd rather not have to. From here on out, we'll have to do without grammatically horrendous invitations to sketchy online casinos, unreadable music magazines, and ads for herbal dick enlargers. Try not to get too upset. Also, over on the right hand side, below a hand-selected list of the greatest things the internet has to offer, right before the expired ramblings, we've added a poster for our upcoming tour with Division Day (hooray weaponry!) and some images that, if clicked upon, will result in you giving us money.

Speaking of that tour, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this outright, but, come mid-August, we're attempting to take Patrick Stewart from San Francisco, down the coast of California, over through Texas and Florida and points inbetween, up to New York, Canada, other points inbetween, Idaho, and the Pacific Northwest, with (you get the idea) points inbetween, returning home, finally, at the end of September. In other words, a long, long tour. We'll have Division Day as company for the first leg, the Sammies for the twelve or fourteen shows, then we'll join up with Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin* and Catfish Haven, before reuniting, triumphantly, with DDay in the Northwest again. I wonder if they know we're exploiting them to get back into the castle. I won't tell if you don't.

So, free of long-winded divergences, I'm going back to work now. I'll post the tour dates when they're finalized, which will be in the not so distant future. In the meantime, have a fine Thursday. Bring me some Advil too.

*Best band name ever finalist. Other contenders: Rocket From the Crypt, System of a Ho-Down, AC/DShe, Crudsucker, Supertramp, and, as much as I loathe the band, She Wants Revenge is a great name.