A response

Dearest Underrated,

It's so nice to hear from you. We haven't seen you guys since Jeremy's bris---and what a disaster that was.

So, thanks so much for writing to us. We'd love to come New York is like San Francisco's fatter, more distinguished brother, you know. It's the brother that doesn't smell like bum pee (or, as much like bum pee), stays out later, and gets all the good banking jobs. And good clubs too, you say. Well, we've heard tell of many, but the only time I've ever been to New York, all I did was admire views from tall buildings and struggle with a row boat in Central Park. And you dance, you say? Well, they dance out here too, but they don't dance everywhere, and we like going places where, at the very least, the crowd does some God's honest toe-tapping. Ass-shaking is thoroughly superior, of course.

And that video you have? Aw. That ain't shit. I mean, we don't like tooting our horn, but that was a show in a basement long ago. Imagine what might happen if there was, oh, I don't know, a PA, or room to breathe? The possibilities are endless.

So, it's a date. We're going to have to keep it open-ended, but y'all are famous for your hospitality. Once we get this CD out and get our transportation issues squared away, we'd love to come, have one of those meaty, cubic sandwiches, and play as many shows as you'll let us. And of course, we'll be sleeping on your couch.

Very Truly Yours,
Birdmonster

p.s. Don't think we didn't notice the Stevie Wonder-y title to your letter. You are the sunshine of our lives.