Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Notes from Undergound (not to be confused with the depressing Russian novel)

I was on the couch last night, discussing the European stock market over a fine New Zealand red (or quoting the Simpsons over Tecate---I forget) when I heard an explosion. At first, I assumed it was small arms fire from that half-way house full of delinquents across the street. After all, nothing's more soothing than indiscriminate gun play, especially after a hard afternoon of hooting and pedestrians and trying to con the guy at the corner store into selling you peach blunts. But then: more explosions. Lots more. Suddenly, my earlier hypothesis seemed silly. The neighbors were not dealing with the PLO.

Then it dawned on us all: that whole guy-with-the-giant-noggin-hitting-the-ball-over-the-doohickey-
more-times-than-anyone-else thing.
The neighbors' small scale bombing campaign? Actually just a bunch of fireworks. Unlike Francis Scott Key, no one present plagiarized a song about it.

Now, you'll read lots of indignant self-righteousness about Barry Bonds. After all, he is fairly hateable, what with the steroids, the not-at-all vague disdain for humanity, the smug curmudgeon-ness he oozes from every pore. You'll also read people defending him as the greatest hitter of all-time, a solitary loner who, deep down, only sort of completely hates everyone. Me? I don't really care about the guy or the record. The whole thing seemed kind of joyless and obligatory. I'm glad it's over. We can get back to focusing on important things like, say, the whereabouts of Mario Lopez.

The whole Barry debacle did remind me why I lived in San Francisco though. This is a place where things happen. It's not the only place, not by any stretch of the imagnination. It's just a city. But last night, if only for a few minutes, the most news-worthy event in the Western world was happening a few miles away. And, I don't know, I think that's kind of nifty, even if it occurred only by virtue of a brooding man-freak.

Yes, things happen in San Francisco. You wouldn't know it by my continued silence, but I swear, things happen. In fact, there will be much news coming out of our little corner of the internet in the coming weeks: new songs, shows, a line of Birdmonster suspenders and belts (we're quite serious about the not-falling-down-ness of pants). We just needed a little time underground to hang out with all the C.H.U.D.s and molemen. It was fun. We smell horrible.

First and foremost: we've got a show in a week and a half at Cafe DuNord (August 18th, precisely). It's been a while, so you'll have to be gentle. We're chock full of new songs and would love to see your smiling faces, even if you're a humongously large steriod abuser.


Anonymous said...

you have no idea how much i want birdmonster suspenders. i've attempted to fashion a pair from the remnants of my old birdmonster t-shirt, but my pants keep falling down! i'm obviously not doing it right.

little known hobo fact: i used to wear rainbow suspenders in high school. over tie-dyed t-shirts. while wearing leather knee-high mocassins that my mom made. yeah, i was HOT. Oh, the Glory Days...

Steve said...

I've put on a little bit of weight this summer. Any chance of a Birdmonster girdle?

Anonymous said...

or perhaps an ascot? it would go well with my Riverboat Gambler outfit!

SOL's view said...

Woot! A Birdie Post! About suspenders, no less. Oh, and some baseball playing yobbo. GH, perhaps we can think about bringing that look back. Or not. But either way, we must have BM suspenders.

Peter V said...

You think San Francisco is in the news now, just wait until that giant squid comes back to threaten the Golden Gate Bridge. CNN will be all over that shit.

Sarah said...

It may not be discussing the merits of Orangina, or new tour reading material while we were supposed to be working, but it's good to see you back on the internerd, kid.

Lester Hunt said...

Hey, welcome back amigos mios. You're the greatest!

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