Monday, October 16, 2006

Here we go again

Just when I've got my life at home back to some level of normalcy, it dawns on me: we're leaving again. To be specific, we're leaving on Thursday for our last trek of the year, one which, essentially, is a bee line to New York, a five day sojourn in the most expensive city in America (read: lots of hotdog breakfasts), then an abrupt U-turn, a show in Philly, and a four day drive through the middle of the country back home. We'll be driving right around the election too, which is good because it means low gas prices. That's what happens when oilmen are in the White House. What with all the torturing, moral legislating, and general disregard for the Constitution, you take what you can get. What you can get is 30 cents off a gallon biannually. It's a slender silver lining, but it's there. I promise.

Of course, there are marked improvements this time. For starters, we have a van capable of ascending hills at over fifteen miles per hour. That's a biggie. Plus, this van has a crappy little TV in the back, which means hours of "Freddie's Dead," "Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid," and, maybe, if we're lucky, a good movie. We have a new song too, which we may or may not play, but we can talk about playing it a lot, which will be kind of like playing it in the first place. Or not.

Another nice part of this tour is that our first stop is Los Angeles (obviously on the way to New York from San Francisco. Thanks public schooling). L.A. as a town isn't what I'm excited about----although once I saw Ethan Embry on the street; soooo dreamy----it's that we get to go into KCRW and play Morning Becomes Eclectic. Almost makes me feel legitimate, you know. I should wear a monocle to enhance the feeling. Nothing makes me feel more legitimate than a monocle. Not even a cape.

Anyway (I don't know what that was all about either, just bear with me: it's Monday and my coffee is half empty---definately not half full): it's going to be fun, if only to hear Nic Harcourt say Birdmonster a half dozen times. Honestly, I can't think of anyone with a more pleasing voice, besides maybe Rod Roddy, who's dead, so he doesn't count. Although if I could get Zombie Rod Roddy to say "Birdmonster: cooooooome on down," I'd die a happy man. Presumably at the hands of Zombie Rod Roddy, come to think of it.

But we've still got three days. Three days to do laundry, scrape together November rent, and watch the Departed again. Three days to pack up, go back on sabbatical from the office, and say yet another set of goodbyes. Here we go again.


kasi said...

Do you really feel more legitmate in a monocle than in a cape? Honestly! I'm sure that's not possible. Well, not for me, at least. Have fun on your tour. Play your new song. If you get nervous, put your cape on.

rachael said...

i interviewed nic harcourt about a year ago and it may have been the greatest 30 minutes of my life. he has, hands down, the best radio voice out there. almost as dreamy as ethan embry (jealous). harcourt was waiting in line at the DMV while i was interviewing him, and it may have been the only time i wished i worked at that miserable place so that i could have listened to him longer. needless to say, when his name was called and he had to say goodbye..a part of me died on the inside. good thing i can listen to him every day.

ok, done gushing.

birdmonster said...

Kasi: Sound advice, all 'round. This whole argument can be solved, simply, by wearing a cape and a monocle, like a silent movie villian. Handlebar mustache a plus.

Rachael: A DMV interview is probably the coolest thing ever. Except for canned cheese. I hope the part of you that died has been reborn. It might've just been the DMV

Drew You Too said...

I LOVE your blog. I have laughed more in the last three minutes than I have in the last three days. It's good to know that there is still someone in this country with a sense of humor. On a slightly more serious note (I hate to be a bummer but I must for the benifit of us all), please visit me at and read the post entitled "It could happen to you" because it could happen to you. If you or anyone you know has a Social Security Number this is a must read. Thanks again for your posts, they make me smile and that's a rare thing these days. Peace.

Webb said...

You know what city is between Los Angeles and Denver, which I presume is your second stop? That's right. Las Vegas. Where I will be. And I got a $6 bill with your name on it. Actually, it has the name of all the monsters on it. Which means you each get about $1.50. Which I suppose in Vegas won't buy you shit. But, it's a pretty $6 bill, and my pretty face handing it to you is all the more reason to stop by.

If you're nice enough, I'll even coax a scantily clad casino waitress into hooking you up with a free drink. Yeah, I'm that good.

birdmonster said...

DYT: Thanks for the well-wishes & compliment. I'll stop soon as the coast is clear at work. If necessary, I will bludgeon my boss.

Webb: Oh. Shit. Son. I'll have to make suggestions. Bet on red, son. Red.

Heidi the Hick said...

The thing that amazes me about bands is the ability to be in each other's spaces for days, weeks, months on end, in less than ideal travelling conditions, with less than great hygiene, on questionable food and often way too much tobacco and alcohol...and still put on a great show and be friends afterwards.


(this is a truly great blog.)

Anonymous said...

Love this blog, I read it every day. Usually at work...

But the strangest part? I am waaay ahead of you - time wise - so it's like, man, I'm readin' it before it happens.... Spacey ...

SF Writer said...


R2K said...

Welcome to my island! Its not that expensive if you know where to go and what to do. The problem is, people visit and decide the thing to do is shop, eat at well known overpriced places, and go to a broadway show. Consider not being so touristy, and NY is no longer that expensive. Plenty of great things to do for free or less than 10 bucks per person. And that includes food.

birdmonster said...

Heidi: We hardly ever fight. When we do, we use only blunt weapons to keep the lacerations to a minimum.

SOL's View: Wait. You're right. You're like Marty McFly over there on the other side of the pond.

SF Writer: Ew. Just Ew. A ball o' gummi is bad, bad, bad.

Alex: We've actually been a few times and I was pleasantly surprised by how not-egregiously-expensive it was. But we're from San Francisco so couldn't have been that much worse. 5 days will surely deplete my bank account, out of boredom if nothing else. I could go poor in Missoula, Montana.

(FYI: Casinos EVERYWHERE in Montana. That'd help)

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