Monday, July 24, 2006

What do Axl Rose and Saddam Hussien have in common? And no, this is not the beginning of an unfunny party joke.

I was on the bus this morning, listening to "Desire" again, enjoying it a little more each time, and reading the San Francisco Chronicle. There are only a couple reasons to buy the Chronicle, and both of them are Jon Carroll. The rest of our hometown rag is comprised of stories lifted off stale AP Wire feeds ("Ohio Vote Disputed"), too many articles on wine from Napa ("Hip Hip, Syrah!"), and about three pages daily are devoted to the thoroughly uninteresting circus that is Barry Bonds ("Bonds Spends Extra Ten Minutes on Toilet; Blames Bad Burrito"). However, today, two little blurbs caught my attention, though neither were written by Chronicle writers, which, well, is par for the course.

I want to ponder the cosmic signifigance of the following two events: Saddam Hussein is hospitalized for starvation while Axl Rose refuses to play in England before getting served a roast lamb.

What we've got is an ex-dictator going on a hunger strike and an ex-successful musician striking because he's hungry. I'm positive there's a deeper truth here, but, three cups of coffee later, I'm incapable of uncovering anything more meaningful than "what a couple of pricks." I require erudite theories; and yes, I'm talking to you.

As for Birdmonster news, I won't be telling you any until I get some Sag Paneer with some garlic Na'an, lightly toasted.


Gasoline Hobo said...

"hip hip syrah"? seriously, there's no riesling for you to submit your readers to that kind of thing. *ahem*

you want erudite theories? i don't really have one, except to say that maybe axl wouldn't have been bitch slapped by tommy hilfiger if he'd never slithered out of the spiderhole of mediocrity that is his current career.

but then again, there's entertainment value in his current exploits, which i fully expect to culminate with axl consuming emmanuel lewis on stage. with a light bernaise. (don't get saucy with me!)

i think i need more coffee. those jokes were terrible.

Sabrina said...

If Saddam refuses to eat will tax payers save any $? I suspect this is highly doubtful..

& Don't speak badly about wine. There could never be enough articles. This would be worse than poking fun at Springsteen, Petty & Dylan. Many significant others and children have been spared murder/suicide because a bottle was in the house.

birdmonster said...

I knew, somewhere in that peculiar smelling hobo we call Gasoline, there was a punner, begging to emerge. It's good to have you.

Sabrina: I would never speak ill of wine. NEVER! I just am ignant as to what kinds are better than what other kinds---I have learned that any red made by 12th century trappist monks is worth selling and not drinking. A little vinegary, you know.

Gasoline Hobo said...

dude. you don't even know. one of my nicknames (one of the more POLITE ones) is The PUNisher. a particularly horrendous pun almost got me stabbed in scotland.

all you need to know about wine is that the best ones come in containers with corners.

birdmonster said...

Dave is our band is rather puntastic. I try, but am usually out done.

Do tell of the stabby pun. It sounds particularly awesometerrible.

Gasoline Hobo said...

i just wondered aloud where cats worshipped.

and when no one answered, i replied "at the cat-hedral".

birdmonster said...

I want to to tem-pull you out of the computer & give you a hug.

Wait. Pretend I never said that. For a variety of reasons.

Gasoline Hobo said...

hopefully it's not so you can get close enough to knife me, knifey mckniferson. knives are not my friends.

you probably wouldn't be able to get close enough anyway - most people only make it to the two foot mark before passing out. baths are also not my friends.